andrea

untitled iii

2009-12-29T21:53:00.000-06:00

i want to be your muse.

shattered

2009-05-17T12:51:00.004-05:00

i met. i liked. i had doubts. i liked more. i had more doubts. i crossed lines. i trusted. i trusted more. i crossed more lines. i liked more. i loved. i said i loved. i heard i was loved. i believed. i believed deeper.

then it hit me.

i was naive. i lost my stomach. i felt sad. i felt betrayed. i felt like i had no right to feel sad or betrayed because, in the end, i was nothing. i cried. i cried more. i had a sleepless night and a grey morning. i made a decision. i had to let go.

friend

2009-05-07T10:05:00.002-05:00

i said "i need to cry". and i did and she listened.

when i hung up i felt better only because i had someone to cry with.

conversational skills

2009-02-16T17:13:00.003-06:00

good conversation is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

we have been kicked out of three different places in less than two weeks: "we are closing now" they say.

i am proud of our conversational skills. they surely make time fly...in the best of ways.

wrinkles

2008-10-13T23:28:00.003-05:00

if i had to choose a favourite feature in his face, it would be his eyes, the bluest i have ever seen and surrounded by a path of tiny freckles.

and when he smiled, his wrinkles could tell a million tales, of a million smiles.

he has sad eyes, they say. i think sadness would love to be as happy as it shows up in those eyes.

clumsiness

2008-05-31T17:10:00.004-05:00

"...and how you laughed at my complete lack of grace. but i could not recall a more perfect fall, cause when i looked up into your face it didn't hurt at all"

the postal service writes love songs for the motricity challenged, like me.

age

2008-05-31T17:04:00.005-05:00

i am the one who some days wants to fit the stereotype but is not old enough for it. and yet, has been thirty since eighteen and hates it.

causes

2008-05-01T14:48:00.004-05:00

some causes are worth losing sleep hours for.
when my legs can't hold me and my eyes won't stay open, i see the others working for it. they clap, they cheer and donate time and effort.
then i know i can't stay behind.

on the relativity of time

2008-04-16T15:38:00.002-05:00

time flies when running late. as for the ones who are waiting it goes by like tiny little drops of water.

when waiting, you look at the clock so often, that when the sight is taken away from it, you have already forgotten what time it was.

unconditional

2008-04-12T10:44:00.007-05:00

he doesn't like me. at all. i waited for him for so long, and when we first met, it was too early for him to make a call, but now he is ready and he has made his choice: he has chosen he does not want me near him. i try to hold him, and i even tried to buy his love with favours.

through his constant rejection, i know my love for him is unconditional. for he is after all, my nephew.

untitled i

2008-04-06T22:56:00.003-05:00

i felt safe when i held one of your arms with both of mine.
i learned yesterday i had memorised the structure of your right arm.

narcissistic

2008-03-30T16:39:00.001-06:00

i have never told my shrink, but if i one day found a perfect copy of myself but in xy chromosome code, i would be in love.

addicted

2008-03-29T08:18:00.001-06:00

i wonder if there is rehab for internet addiction.

patience

2008-03-28T08:49:00.004-06:00

a watched pot never boils.
i wonder if my mobile is waiting for me to stop watching it to start ringing.

what i found out about myself today

2008-03-27T19:06:00.006-06:00

i like it when people run to heart-stirring music in the movies.

i can think of amélie poulin running to catch nino when he left her house after unsuccesfully knocking.

i can think of young samuel running through the airport to catch joanna before she got in the plane to get to america in love actually. marisa tomei running through italy looking for damon bradley, the man who she was meant to marry.

i can think of renton, in trainspotting, running to "born slippy" and i can think of ethan hawke in great expectations, escaping from his own show at a new york gallery to pursue estella, who never responded to his passionate and obsessive love.

charriots of fire, 300, run, lola, run and forrest gump.

maybe my taste for running scenes relates to my wish of someone running to me the way jamie ran to aurelia on christmas eve to ask her to marry him in his broken portuguese. or my desire to overcome the fear of doing it.

anyone else but you

2008-03-24T17:25:00.002-06:00

by the moldy peaches
(from 'juno')

you're a part time lover and a full time friend
the monkey on your back is the latest trend
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
but you

i kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
i kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
but you

[...]

you are always trying to keep it real
i'm in love with how you feel
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
but you

fate

2008-03-24T15:49:00.005-06:00

the best summer of my life was made of three days. and the spring ran for one week. maybe autumn.

extra day

2008-02-28T14:32:00.004-06:00

must give a lot of thought to what i will do with it.
nose piercing with the walrus seems in order.

bernardo's fund

2008-02-25T17:53:00.003-06:00

Bernardo is 19. He needs a bone marrow transplant and his family is struggling to cover for the expenses.

Bernardo's friends and family have opened a website to raise money for his treatment.

Prayers and help shall be appreciated.

Visit: www.bernardosfund.com

til death

2008-02-18T09:34:00.003-06:00

the aligning of free wills.
looking in the same direction, and yet standing one before the other promising eternity.
weddings are miraculous, for they both stand there only because they want to.

*dedicated to loren and luis. who have been together for ten years and in whose wedding i realised the what i write today.

weather empathy

2008-02-15T18:25:00.002-06:00

knowing someone i love is cold moves me. one of the few slights of softness i might have.

rainy mornings

2008-02-15T18:14:00.002-06:00

the windows echo the popping sound of the raindrops in the morning. such a calm noise and yet, it’s enough to wake one up.

kicking habits

2008-02-15T18:08:00.001-06:00

going against the policy feels better than i ever thought.

valentine’s day traffic

2008-02-14T16:08:00.004-06:00

i really wanted a cigarrette.
everyone seemed to be smoking around me and i sat there, inside my car. cigarretteless.
i resisted the urge to ask for one to the man in the car beside me. still, i wouldn't have anything to light it with: the car lighter seems to be lost.

oh well, something seems to be doing everything to keep me from smoking.

afternoon sun

2008-02-05T19:15:00.002-06:00

you can feel spring is near.

you can see the red sky above the city right after the grey hour when the crowds fill the streets.

i just drive home and watch the yellow streetlights turn on as the sun goes down.

this shall be one very long lent.

just like heaven

2008-02-02T18:40:00.001-06:00

show me, show me, show me, show me how you do that trick.

and i promise that i'll run away with you.

on the cultivation of friends

2008-02-01T13:55:00.001-06:00

i might not see you. but i think of you every day. just a few can understand.

the soundtrack of my life

2008-01-31T14:13:00.001-06:00

zach braff, when putting together the soundtrack of garden state, said he just thought of the songs that would create the current soundtrack of his life.
since my car is broken and in the shop, i am back to the underground means of transportation. i travel through the city walking among people again and i now remember why i like it so much.

i love watching people go by and imagine their stories. and i love leaning on the window of the subway and watch the neon lights fade with the speed of the train. but what i love the most is listening to the music on my ipod real loud and pretend to be inside a movie.

today i listen to 'kissing in the rain' from great expectations as i run down the long stairway at the subway station. and 'such great heights' from garden state as i drift through the clear avenue in which my office is.

folding boxes

2008-01-30T08:59:00.001-06:00

as a child, my mother used to buy for me paper kits for constructing little cardboard toys. useless, yet amusing to build.
last week, my friend in boston told me about his new hobbie: readymech.com. i made my first mech.but judging by my friend's behaviour, it's seems to be addictive... i wonder if it's the glue.

lorenzo's oil

2008-01-27T20:31:00.001-06:00

michaela and augusto odone did not give up when his young boy was diagnosed with adrenoleukodystrophy, a neurological/enochrinological condition that conducts to severe brain damage. when lorenzo was first diagnosed at age ten, the condition was allegedly uncurable. but the odones made constant independent research for a cure. today, the myelin project, which saves hundreds of boys every year is a creation of lorenzo's parents, and the substance used for the tratment is globally known as "lorenzo's oil". an impressive story of love and science.

my tv + me

2008-01-25T16:20:00.001-06:00

as a member of my generation, i am neither troubled nor reluctant to say, frankly, that television has in fact, affected my life deeply.

the fact is, though, that most of the things i have watched throughout my life remain unknown to the general population. i don’t know whether it was a spark of destiny, or if it was due to my terrible taste in programs, but most people are unfamiliar to the characters i am so fond of.

i can remember myself crying with excitement when ed proposed to carol. fulfilling the list of her one hundred favourite things she had written in her childhood.

i can also see myself anxiously expecting every chapter of the adventures of pete and pete, and wanting to be just like nona mecklenburg, the odd neighbour who later made one of my all time favourite flicks, which i had forgotten for a long time to recall into my memory: harriett the spy.

joan of arcadia, as if, dead like me, eight simple rules, caroline in the city. they may not be ‘friends’ or ‘seinfeld’ but they certainly made a difference to me.

what held me back

2008-01-25T10:28:00.001-06:00

i had never been late to gerardo's class before. i make a special effort to make it early, actually, for i seem to specially enjoy his lectures .

this day, as i was driving my little red french car down the eternally crowded avenue that takes me to my university, i found it to be patricularly jammed

out of nowhere, a dog of ridiculously small proportions wearing a fur vest came running in the middle of the road. i could see a man, running after him and an adolescent girl of approximatley 15 years of age making a scene of it. the man, who was appearently the brat's chauffeur kept running after the animal as the cars desperatley honked and begged him to step out.

i wish someone had hit the dog. i would have been late anyway but at least i would have had the satisfaction of seeing one less public display of serious bad taste.

have a good year

2008-01-07T15:59:00.001-06:00

thank you for your visits.

margaret

2007-12-28T13:03:00.001-06:00

pennies do not come from heaven. they have to be earned here on earth.

margaret thatcher

aunt

2007-12-28T12:43:00.001-06:00

she looked at me and told me what her favourite music was. it was the same children's clown i worshiped when i was her age. she held a beautiful tiny smile between her braided hair with white laces. i can't describe the love and warmth i felt in my heart just for knowing that little person was, in fact, my niece.

i wish she could stay as sweet forever.

sandra

2007-12-19T11:51:00.002-06:00

i can see myself threatening to punch her in the face in the middle of a heated argument about boy bands and rock bands. eventually she had to surrender to the truth: boy band boys, no matter how "cute" are not musicians.

high school would have been different without her. quieter, simpler, plain. her laughter and imagination filled the days with hot pink and lime green. she always had a joke to tell, a remark to say or a song to sing. she enjoyed telling us every detail of her night dreams, no matter how unusual they were, and there was always one of us appearing in them.

her tears could break your heart, while her smile could make our day. the green eyes of a child with a heart of gold and the strength of the bravest.

i am glad i met her, and thankful i kept her.

my nephew. patricio.

2007-11-20T23:34:00.001-06:00

technology has allowed us to see beautiful patricio months before his birth.
allow me to share.

my cousin, the artist

2007-11-20T10:32:00.001-06:00

santiago was more like a brother. i cannot build my childhood memories without him in between the lines.
our paths took different directions and i couldn't be prouder. my cousin, the musician, watches the boston winter from his window.

pay him a visit @ myspace.com/juliennesnow.com

tradition + family

2007-11-20T08:30:00.000-06:00

as christmas time gets near, a feeling of tradition invades my family.
for years, december has been plagued of lee family rituals.

from the setting of the christmas tree at my aunt's house with scrumptious supper and desserts, the buying of the presents with my mother, christmas dinners and visits to close friends, cooking parties at my house, preparing the turkey and the meal for christmas day, and the christmas game, a lee family classic.

i can't wait.

friendship + complicity

2007-11-19T18:58:00.000-06:00

i have friends who have turned my craziest ideas into realities.
i have friends whose ideas are wilder than mine.
i have friends who make my day worth the effort.

mondays

2007-11-19T15:51:00.000-06:00

mondays are underrated.
they are a good chance to start again.

alive

2007-11-17T12:23:00.000-06:00

my soul gets touched everytime i think about the survivors of the andes. when you hear the story from their mouth you understand the presence of God among them and how spiritual the experience was for them.

the survivors are still living in the same town they lived before the accident, and are bound together by a terrible but soul enforcing passage. and they all agree that the major force they got when alone in the mountains was prayer.

the dvd of the 1993 film "alive", starring ethan hawke as nando parrado, includes a 40 minute documentary with testimonials of the survivors. i truly recommend it. an absolute personal favourite.

tom peters!

2007-11-17T12:10:00.000-06:00

tom peters. a genious of management. a new personal hero. tom peters believes in the power of extraordinary and unusual talents when it comes to business success.

here's a free sample.

1. technicolor rules! passion moves mountains.

2. audacity matters.

3. revolution now!

4. question authority! (hire disrespectful people)

visit www.tomepeters.com for more.

my campaign

2007-09-27T08:34:00.000-05:00

i'm running for president.

i shall appreciate your votes.

you need to register at the website. you will get ten free votes. you may use the ten votes on the same candiate. me being such candidate.

workaholism

2007-08-27T20:16:00.000-05:00

i quit my job. i wanted to enjoy life.

i am handing out resumés.

stick shift driving

2007-07-24T14:22:00.000-05:00

i told you in a previous post to ask in two weeks if i could drive stick shift .

today, i can drive stick shift .

tv

2007-07-24T14:10:00.000-05:00

why is it a such admired feature in a person the disliking of television? it doesn't make you wiser or a better person.

i love watching tv. i am one enthusiastic media consumer and shall remain that way. the reason is simple. television makes me happy. it makes me laugh, it makes me cry. i enjoy television. period.

why do i cry

2007-07-10T23:55:00.001-05:00

"we are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

françois duc de la rochefoucauld

about the author: in case you were curious

2007-07-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

What is your occupation? Student. Adjunct assistant teacher.

What color are your socks right now? Striped. Black and white.

What are you listening to right now? Eric Clapton - Layla

What was the last thing that you ate? Pasta

Can you drive a stick shift? I’m working on it. Ask again in two weeks.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Scarlet or Blue Green

Last person you spoke to on the phone? Jorge. I just hung up.

Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, very much.

How old are you today? 21

Favorite drink? Dr. Pepper, Cherry Coke, and tequila.

What is your favorite sport to watch? Formula 1 and baseball.

Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes. But I’m through that now.

Pets? Not now. I recently gave my cat away.

Favorite food? Italian, Mexican, Chinese and fast food.

What was the last movie you watched? Martin Scorsese’s The Departed.

Favorite day of the year? Halloween, rainy days, first days of everything (school, new jobs)

What was your favorite toy as a child? Crayons, puppets and costumes.

What is your favorite fall or spring? Fall.

Hugs or kisses? Hugs and kisses

Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries

Living arrangements? With my mother

When was the last time you cried? July 4th.

What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes

What did you do last night? Stayed up until four. I was volunteering in an overnight Rally event.

Favorite smells? Bread in the oven, peppermint, coffee, freshly cut grass.

What inspires you? Random mysteriously magic situations.

What are you afraid of? Loneliness

Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese.

Favorite dog breed? Labrador Retriever. But I’m a cat person.

Number of keys on your key ring? Two.

How many years at your current job? I’m currently unemployed. I was in my last job for almost three years.

Favorite day of the week? Saturday and, I must say I do enjoy Mondays.

Favorite holidays? Halloween

love actually

2007-07-02T19:17:00.000-05:00

from the 2003 film love actually.

" whenever i get gloomy with the state of the world, i think about the arrivals gate at heathrow airport. general opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but i don't see that. it seems to me that love is everywhere. often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. [...] if you look for it, i've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around. "

sharing books by pieces

2007-06-28T20:02:00.000-05:00

this excersice, i found in a dear friend's blog.

take the book that is closest to your hand.

open in page 123. go to sentence number five. publish in your blog the subsequent three lines.

encourage other bloggers to do the same.

thank you mauro.

from the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde by robert louis stevenson

"O Poole!" the lawyer cried, "he was alive and here this day. He cannot have been disposed o in so short a space; he must be still alive, he must have fled! And then why fled? And how? And in that case, can we venture to declare this suicide? O, we must be careful. I forsee that we may yet involve your master in some dire catastrophe."

reasons to love mcdonald's

2007-06-26T11:14:00.000-05:00

1. the doublecheese burger has the perfect size

2. the smell of the fries that reaches two blocks around the restaurant

3. you can hold the paper cup of large soda all day long and still have something to drink inside it. it lasts forever.

4. when you order to take away, the fries that stay in the bottom of the paper bag are always the best: you think you have no more left, but those come up as a delicious surprise.

5. the playzone. no matter how old you are.

6. mcflurry with extra shots of crunch candy bar

summer

2007-06-25T10:53:00.000-05:00

i hope it rains. i wish the sky grants me the chance of walking down a shiny street of silver pavement. i really pray for when i come out of the subway tunnel, the black and heavy city clouds have started to pour the summer rain. i long to quietly hum a little tune under a mid june storm. and when the rain stops, home shall be waiting for me with the scent of hot coffee.

sleepless night

2007-06-04T09:50:00.000-05:00

i didn't get any sleep. my body still hurts. besides coughing all night long, sneezing and getting that feeling of inability to breathe, around 4 food poisoning made an appearance. i spent all night flinching and turning inside my bed. i could feel the poison running through my guts, leaving me in an unbearable pain.

when i finally achieved to get to sleep: morning. never fails.

now i must go to school. too bad.

(i know this steps out of my usual writing style, but i had to share my pain)

my # 2 fan

2007-05-30T20:12:00.000-05:00

my #1 fan is still unconfirmed.

death and love

2007-05-23T15:05:00.000-05:00

no one should die alone.

the greatest thing i long

to find in love is that the

other shall have the wish

to die beside me and the

will to see me die.

frogs at school

2007-05-19T18:31:00.000-05:00

i must have been no older than seven. i loved children's poetry then, and i love it much more now.

i can see myself practising in front of the mirror for the school recitation contest with a poem i found in a book that belonged to my oldest sister: everyday classics: second reader, baker & thorndike. a compilation of poems specially for children.

the book was small and had a yellow hardcover with the picture of a girl sitting on a rock and staring at the horizon.

i still treasure that book and it holds a special place in my bookshelf.

the selected poem was frogs at school, by george cooper. a not very succesful early xx century poet.

i transcript the poem that gave me nothing more than a diploma signed by my english teahcer and the grade school principal, and the urge to win the contest the next year.

FROGS AT SCHOOL
by George Cooper

Twenty froggies went to school
Down beside a rusy pool;
Twenty little coats of green,
Twenty vests all white and clean.
"We must be in time," said they,
"First we study, then we play;
That is how we keep the rule,
When we froggies go to school."

the odyssey

2007-05-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

the difference between myself and penelope is that penelope was certain of odysseus's love. and that he would eventually come back.

and that she was fictional. and things usually work out fine in fiction. except for greek tragedies. i wouldn't want to pluck my eyes out. or marry anyone in my family for that matter...

i love making fun of myself...=)

lions in the workshop

2007-05-15T23:56:00.000-05:00

fred, my grandfather, kept a workshop in the brick house that always smelled like that scent that old cushions keep product of the decomposing of the stuffing. how i loved that house.

i was little and so were my two older cousins. even though one of them claims to have been inside the workshop once eating candy with grandpa, i can hardly remember the white and narrow door ever being open.

fred had a good made up story to keep us away. i remember the first time he told me. i can even see my four year old eyes staring at him as he explained why i could not pass through the door: behind it, he kept cages with lions.

years passed and few were the times when i could peek inside the workshop through the high window in the garage or by a narrow opening when he came in or out of it.

fred died when i was eight. by that time, my common sense had told me there were no such lions, but yet, the mystery behind the door had turned the contents of the workshop into an unvaluable treasure.

i loved spending afternoons inside of it. it was filled with old tools, car pieces, electronic appliances long broken, cables, magazines, manuals, books, jars with nails and screws. behind the door, unpackaged car pieces for my grandmother's car.

it smelled like cat and car oil. there was also a desk and a coffee cup stuffed with pens. you could not write a single word with any of them.

i wonder what has become of the workshop. i know in my mind, among all the stuff fred kept inside the smallest place in the house, there will always be room for a cage with lions.

two of my favourite people

2007-05-10T22:35:00.000-05:00

four blue eyes. two pairs of glasses. two matching last names but no blood links. two gifted minds that have never left my side.

the big question ii

2007-04-29T22:07:00.000-05:00

the walrus asks: how do you ask a waiter for a pen without getting the check instead?

(ty ce, for you never know what's going on behind those blue eyes)

april 27th

2007-04-27T07:53:00.000-05:00

happy birthday pau.
happy birthday fred.

two end links of a generational chain.

anonymous stupid

2007-04-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

at least greek historical tradition and mythology are fair enough to leave in secret the name of the man who opened the gates of troy to let the big horse in.

(ty diego + van)

the big question

2007-04-23T10:06:00.000-05:00

what if all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets are dressed up as matresses?

steven wright

2007-04-13T18:42:00.000-05:00

wise man of simple words. smart one liners. deadpan and brilliant comedian. it took me years to find him. i first saw him on saturday night live years ago and i didn't learn his name, but i finnaly got it. and here he is.

to those who asked for humour in my space here is to steven wright, who shares the honour of being my favorite comedian with jerry seinfeld.

last week, i went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. they couldn't help me.

when i was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. i was an only child . . . eventually.

my neighbor has a circular driveway. he can't get out.

i stayed in a really old hotel last night. they sent me a wakeup letter.

there's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

how much deeper would the ocean be without the sponges?

a lot of people are afraid of heights. not me, i'm afraid of widths.

i can levitate birds. no one cares.

i saw a bank that said "24 hour banking", but i don't have that much time.

i was in the first submarine. instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "we're surrounded."

i'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. when it's finished i'm going to sue myself.

google steven for more.

12:08

2007-04-09T00:03:00.000-05:00

i try everyday to hold on to the few memories i have of you.

there is a reason why i think of you so much.

i am terrified that your image might fade away from my mind.

time seems slower when greeding to create new memories and fill up my mind for a little longer.

loneliness

2007-04-08T23:59:00.000-05:00

i enjoy my solitude. i even talk to myself and i like the chats i have with me.

i embrace loneliness. but i cannot hug myself.

bouquet

2007-04-06T16:20:00.000-05:00

purple amancays and cream roses.

now, that is a bouquet.

choices

2007-04-05T23:36:00.000-05:00

may the laws of men not interfere with the natural course of human life.

may our choices be ordained to common good.

may our courage be unbreakable when defending the unprotected.

may we all be brave enough to choose life.

admiration cycle

2007-04-05T16:58:00.000-05:00

i just found out i have a frequent reader. a fan, if i may say.
the curious thing is that i may call myself a big fan of my own fan.
thank you. the admiration of a sister is a new feeling and i am fond to it.

a night at the movies

2007-04-05T13:15:00.000-05:00

i needed a friend and i called him.

he didn't hesitate. he said yes and despite his wishes of staying in and unshowered, he came.

he dried my tears, he took me out and shared a 'jumbo large combo' with me.

that is what i call a friend.

thank you friend.

sand

2007-04-04T20:43:00.000-05:00

i hate sand. i despise it. i hate hot sand, i hate wet sand, i hate dry sand.

and to judge by it's behaviour i am sure sand hates me back.

as for the sea, oh, that one sings a different tune.

(in the picture: the author walking the pacific ocean's seashore)

fairy tales ii

2007-03-30T18:02:00.001-06:00

towers are not always made of bricks and height.

when i feel like rapunzel, who will climb up my hair?

fairy tales

2007-03-29T00:01:00.000-06:00

princesses and vikings. who would say?

i am living my very own fairy tale.

matthew

2007-03-28T21:45:00.000-06:00

i do not like stuffed animals. i only own one: matthew, the bear. he got his name late in my life. before that, he was a nameless hallmark teddy bear who would adopt different names and genders according to my childhood games. matthew has slept in the same bed as me for over eighteen years, but not uninterrupted. at times, he sits on a bookshelf and quietly stares all night and all day. he has witnessed tears and laughter. he has seen my heart been broken. he has seen me put the pieces back together. he has witnessed prayer and study nights. movie marathons and reading hours. matthew hardly ever leaves my room. he is a sentinel to the intimacy that lies beneath it.

late nights

2007-03-21T21:13:00.000-06:00

i love working late nights. for a reason, the feeling of drowsiness keeps me going on and on. i adore the typing sound among the dark silence of the very first hours of a new day. my cat stands beside me yawning, but she won't sleep if i don't. eventually, i complain because i didn't get any rest.

birthdays

2007-03-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

march has brought lots of birthdays. i dedicate this space to all those who have had birthdays in march. all of you bring fond memories.

march 1st: monste

march 5th: pili, dulce

march 6th: santi, juan pablo

march 7th: lorenza

march 8th: josé manuel

march 12th: marisol

march 13th: alicia

march 15th: lucy

march 17th: diego

march 18th: fran

march 19th: chris

march 24th: ale

march 26th: edith

march 31st: alberto

happy birthday.

why do i write in a foreign language

2007-03-19T21:26:00.000-06:00

I use English to write because it plays as a disguise. I can hide behind a mask of language that encourages me to write what I can't say in my own language. In the end, I know it is still me. If I shall wear a mask, I shall use one that allows me to be more myself instead of one that lets me create a different person.

surprises

2007-03-19T21:21:00.000-06:00

I always wanted a surprise party. I never had one before until yesterday. I'm thankful. Thank you.

All of you who attended, and those who couldn't make it but wanted to, I appreciate the thought.

I appreciate the previous lies, the performing and the attempts to make it perfect. It was perfect.

Thank you.

the face of the author

2007-02-11T15:59:00.001-06:00